Bah

Although I deny it in my mind...I really miss him... He's out of town for the week and I am really noticing it and bah...I miss him!

I am trying to hold back my feelings cause I don't want to be hurt again, but I really am starting to like this guy, i'll refer to him as "J". "J" is a new guy I have been seeing and he is a great guy from what I am learning. I want to like him so much more, but I am afraid of getting my feelings hurt. After my last relationship, I kind of built that wall back up again. I would give guys a try, but none of them would worth it to break the wall down again.

J is different, I really hope he keeps proving it. We'll see how things pan out. We've been seeing each other for about a month now. It is just dating, no relationship, but we'll see. I mean, not like I am seeing anyone else right now, but I dunno...again, we'll see. That seems to be my response to things lately.

Wow...just realized it has been ages since I last posted! Oh well, only school, work and J going on in my life momentarily. Oh, I did go to the land of Mickey Mouse last week...I love releasing my inner 5 year old :)

I give up

Why did I even try...apparently I have no game, lol! But honestly, I am probably jumping to conclusions, but I rather suppress my emotions now while I have the energy. Who knows, I am probably over analyzing like usual, but at the same time...I don't know, haha!

Whatever, it is good I don't have someone to distract me because I need to focus on MY life momentarily.